So, I received my diagnosis, it’s hard to process emotions like this.
For some time, I think I felt nothing. I was just talking, functioning and not feeling anything. I was like frozen. Because I was afraid, that if I let go, the feelings would be too much, what if the urge to cry will be too strong. I didn’t want to freak out. But I think that having a plan helped, the thing is that I immediately got a promising treatment – gave me hope, strength and ability to rationalize what was happening and the diagnosis I got. I did process my fear too in the end step by step. And I cried too. But much later.