Looking into the mirror

Since I’ve got the diagnosis and started the treatments my appearance has changed drastically… When I pass the mirror, I can not recognize myself, to tell you the truth, and when I finally do – I get upset. I do not look like any of my pictures, and I do not think that authorities will recognize me on the documents if needed.

psfix_20190412_2103225227825809639268872.jpegIn the very beginning, before my first visit to the doctor, (Oh, so long time ago!) I lost a kilo or a bit more and were very satisfied! I liked how I look. But then, with the treatments or something, my face started to look a little bit swollen. After a few months, swollenness became so ugly, that I looked like I was drinking badly for months and months, and you have just woken me up.

Did you get the picture?

Even when I got back to Hospital K after being at home for some time, some nurses asked me – “You didn’t look like this before, right, not that swollen??”

No, I did not.

A bit later, when, the liquids (I assume) redistributed themselves, my face started to look a little bit more normal, less sick swollen, and more just fat, I think. So now I’ve got two huge chicks, second chin and everything that supposed to come with this in between. While the forehead started to look small and lips are just almost non-existent.

Well, at least it’s better than the drunken face, I think. And with a little bit of appropriate makeup and hair, I still can look presentable, while still nothing like my old self.

In addition to the changes happening by themselves with my face, I had to make a decision and say goodbye to my amazing long hair. It’s become too hard to take care of them. Even with the help of my husband, who studiously followed all my incoherent instructions on how better to wash them and dry… And with long hair, it’s much more time consuming and difficult. So, I booked time with my usual hairdresser, who almost cried while cutting it. But, hey, we need to move forward, right? I also colored it from quite dark shade with a reddish hint to blond one.

The result is a chubby-faced light-haired girl, who still looks very sick.

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